Life Isn't Fair
by youcanfindmeinthesnow
Summary: Why did it have to end up this way? It isn't fair at all. Lenalee/Miranda, with mentioned other pairings.


**AN: I decided to attempt at writing my favourite shoujo-ai pairing, and I tried my best to make it angsty but slightly fluffy, but I probably failed. For some reason I can't write DGM fics. Also, I'm posting this on my iPad so it may appear weird cause my iPad doesn't like to work properly.**

**Character(s): Lenalee Lee, Miranda Lotto, Lavi (mentioned), Kanda Yu (mentioned), Allen Walker (mentioned), Lan Xun (my OC, mentioned). Others are mentioned, but these are the main ones.**

**Pairing(s): Lenalee Lee x Miranda Lotto, Allen Walker x Lavi (mentioned), Kanda Yu x Lan Xun (Canon x OC, implied).**

**Warning(s): Shoujo-ai, mentions of shounen-ai and slight AU content. (In this story, Lenalee doesn't know that Kanda is leaving to find Allen.)**

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><p>The air whips against her face, the cold biting at her skin, the speed nauseating, but it doesn't matter, because all she can fell is the sadness and guilt just clawing at her, and she has to wonder, why, why wasn't it me that went through it all?<p>

The night sky is so, so beautiful, the stars shining so bright, but nothing can distract her from the pain, the pity, the sorrow, the anger. It clouds her senses, and nothing can pull her away from the thoughts of her friends, her family, and the moment she knew that they had fallen.

She can still remember just how warm Allen's arms felt around, how equally bright and dull his smile was, trying to reassure but the horror blinding all the same, and the sound as the portal closed behind him, as she screamed, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, collapsing to the ground with the shock of it all.

She can still remember waking up to find Kanda gone, no message, and even though that wasn't his style, it still made her ache deep inside. No 'goodbye's, no 'I'll see you soon', just stone cold silence, common for him, but it still hurt. She had lost her three closest friends, those almost like siblings to her, and he just left. Lan had stared in silence in the window when she had found out, quiet as always, almost broken, and that made her want to cry even more.

She can still remember waving off a grinning Lavi as he embarked on a mission, only to find out he had been captured. Happy, smiling Lavi didn't deserve something like that. None of them did. She hoped that when Allen found out, if he did, he would run there, save them all, be the knight on shining armour, but she doubted he would know. He wouldn't know that his beloved Lavi, who he had treasured for so long, had been stolen by the enemy, and was possibly dead, and that sentence made her boil in rage.

She thought of the others lost, Bookman, the massive amount of finders who had probably fell on that battlefield, and her heart reached out for them, but she wasn't strong enough to bring them back. She couldn't bring them back. The pieces of the world, all she had left, and she couldn't save them from the hell the world had become. And it's not fair at all.

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><p>When she gets back from her journey, she knows she'll see Miranda there, waiting with a heavy fur cloak, frantically searching the sky for any sign of the exorcist, and the sight of it will make her heart shatter all over again, because she didn't deserve the brunette's kindness after all that's happened.<p>

When she lands, she knows Miranda will throw the cloak clumsily over her shoulders as she deactivates her boots, and suddenly the cold will hit her and it'll be like a punch to the face, but Miranda's warmth will take over and suddenly everything will be alright. Recent events will be forgotten as she is hurried inside and taken to her room, where they will sit in silence, until they fall asleep together, the brunette's head resting on her shoulder, her arm looped around Miranda's waist. It will feel so normal, and she will wake up to the sight of Miranda smiling peacefully, beautifully in her sleep, and, for just a small amount of time, she will feel better.

After all, Miranda could control time, and when she was around her, it felt like time had stopped. Actually it felt more like everything had reverted back to the way it was. Lavi would be there, chuckling like always, Allen, smiling down at her, Kanda, looking irritated like usual, and everyone else would be there to. Her brother, Lan, Krory, Marie, Reever, Johnny, all of them would be there.

And for the small amount of time where she felt safe and secure with a clumsy but beautiful woman in her arms, Lenalee was grateful.


End file.
